The Day a Student Told Me “Mam, I Don’t Know What I Want” (And How I Helped Him Find It)




Table of Contents

  1. Introduction: A Moment That Changed My Mentoring Approach

  2. The Conversation That Started It All

  3. Understanding the Real Problem

  4. The Framework I Used to Help Him Find Clarity

  5. Signs You’re Also Confused About Your Career

  6. Practical Steps to Find What You Want

  7. How You Can Apply This to Your Own Life

  8. Real-World Example: The Career Triangle Exercise

  9. FAQs

  10. Conclusion Finding Clarity Is a Journey, Not a Decision


Connect with me for expert career insights: www.linkedin.com/in/learnwithsankari

1. Introduction: A Moment That Changed My Mentoring Approach

It was a regular mentoring session. The student on the other side of the screen looked nervous. After a long pause, he said softly 

“Mam, I don’t know what I want in life.”

That sentence hit me harder than I expected.
Because it wasn’t just his voice it echoed the thoughts of hundreds of students and young professionals I had met before.

In today’s fast-moving world, career confusion is common especially among college students and freshers stepping into the IT or tech field.

This story isn’t about one student. It’s about how clarity is built not found.

2. The Conversation That Started It All

I asked him a simple question:

“Okay, tell me what you don’t want.”

He looked surprised. Then he smiled. And slowly, we started listing things down:

  • “I don’t want to sit idle.”

  • “I don’t want a job that doesn’t challenge me.”

  • “I don’t want to study something just because others are doing it.”

In ten minutes, we had a list of don’ts.
And that’s when I told him:

“Sometimes, knowing what you don’t want is the first step toward what you do want.”

3. Understanding the Real Problem

Most students aren’t really lost. They’re just:

  • Overwhelmed by too many options

  • Pressured by parents or peers

  • Confused by trends (“Should I do AI or Cloud or DevOps?”)

  • Afraid of making the wrong choice

Career confusion often comes from external noise, not internal emptiness.
You might already have hints you just haven’t connected them yet.

4. The Framework I Used to Help Him Find Clarity

I guided him through a 3-step clarity framework I often use in my mentoring sessions:

Step 1: Identify Interests

Ask yourself:

  • What kind of topics excite me?

  • What do I do even when no one tells me to?

  • What YouTube videos or blogs do I spend time on?

Step 2: Recognize Strengths

List what you’re naturally good at communication, design, analytics, or organizing people.
Example: You may not love coding, but you might enjoy solving problems using tech that’s a hint for roles like project coordination or data analysis.

Step 3: Match to Market Trends

Once you know your interest + strengths, map them to growing industries:

  • Cloud Computing

  • Data Analytics

  • UI/UX Design

  • AI and Automation

  • Product Management

That’s how you move from confusion → direction.

5. Signs You’re Also Confused About Your Career

You might relate to this if you:

  • Constantly change your goals every few months

  • Feel unmotivated about your current course or job

  • Follow what others are doing (and still feel lost)

  • Don’t know what success means to you

If this sounds like you it’s time to pause, reflect, and realign.


Connect with me for expert career insights: www.linkedin.com/in/learnwithsankari

6. Practical Steps to Find What You Want

Here’s a simple process that works for students and early professionals alike:

  1. Write down your “don’t wants.”

  2. Take personality or career assessments (like 16Personalities or CareerExplorer).

  3. Talk to mentors or professionals in fields you’re curious about.

  4. Experiment through small projects or internships.

  5. Reflect every 3 months are you enjoying the journey?

7. How You Can Apply This to Your Own Life

If you’re in college or just starting your IT career, clarity won’t come overnight.
Start with exploration.

Example:

  • Attend a workshop on Cloud or AI.

  • Build a small automation project.

  • Write about what you learn on LinkedIn or Hashnode.

You’ll slowly discover what clicks. That’s where passion and purpose meet.

8. Real-World Example: The Career Triangle Exercise

I often use a Career Triangle with my mentees.

It has three corners:

  1. Interest - what you enjoy learning or doing.

  2. Strength - what you’re naturally skilled at.

  3. Market Demand - what’s trending or in demand.

Your ideal career sits where all three overlap.

Image Suggestion:
👉 A simple triangle diagram labeled “Interest,” “Strength,” and “Market Demand,” with a bright highlight in the intersection zone.

When that student mapped his triangle, he realized he enjoyed tech with creativity and today, he’s exploring UI/UX and Cloud automation together.

That’s the power of reflection.

9. FAQs

Q1: How do I find my passion if I like too many things?

Start experimenting. Try one thing at a time for 30 days. What feels effortless and exciting that’s your clue.

Q2: What if my parents don’t agree with my choice?

Show them data career trends, growth reports, or certifications. Logic often works better than emotion.

Q3: I feel late. Can I still change my path?

Absolutely. Career clarity can happen at 18 or 28. What matters is that you start now.

Q4: Should I take a break to figure it out?

Not necessarily. Start small learn, explore, and gain clarity while you work or study.

10. Conclusion: Finding Clarity Is a Journey, Not a Decision

That day, the student who said “I don’t know what I want” left the call smiling not because he found an answer, but because he found a direction.

If you’re confused today, that’s okay.
Confusion means you’re searching for meaning, not drifting.

So, take the first step reflect, explore, and learn.

💡 Call to Action:
If you’re feeling stuck about your career or skills, connect with a mentor or join a guided learning program like CareerByteCode.


It might just be the turning point you need.


Connect with me for expert career insights: www.linkedin.com/in/learnwithsankari





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